Today at Siu Esencias Florales we are going to talk about heartbreak and the sorrows of love. When a bone breaks, when it heals, it heals better; when a heart breaks, it repairs better.
How can we let compassion reach us in a moment of sorrow and pain from a wounded heart?
The first thing any person must do when they lose something or lose someone is to ask themselves: What is it that you lost? And did you really lose something or someone? The truly important thing is to understand that what you lost is the well-being you had with that person. Instead of overcoming it, we immerse ourselves in replacing that person with another or in doing what bothered the other person. But we don't think about the type of well-being the other person provided us, nor do we worry about finding it within ourselves.
It is crucial to understand that love is within ourselves. It is true that we fall in love and this infatuation leads us to elevate the other person and believe they are in charge of giving us love — we hand them the key to our happiness. As long as we are love and we love ourselves, we can love others freely.
From a neuroscience perspective, falling in love has 3 stages: the first is desire, this first phase governs passion and carnal desire; the second is infatuation, and people are in search of unity, hoping to find it in the other person — we find ourselves in a phase of wanting everything, of impulse, acceptance, and codependence. In the third stage, love arrives, where love is freer.
The infatuation is not love. Infatuation is an impulse that makes us, in a way, addicted to stimuli. It is a biological stage in which the human being embarks on a search until reaching true love. But rest assured, infatuation is not bad — it is a stage and a phase we all live through and love experiencing. But in the final stage we reach an agreement, boundaries arrive, tenderness arrives, balance arrives. When we find love, the enjoyment of loving arrives.
When a person is heartbroken, at Siu Esencias Florales we believe it is a lack of love and therefore they need to love. And loving is helping the other find freedom and finding it within ourselves. Finding the love that lives inside us is giving and sharing that feeling with the world, with a whole and not with just one person. We experience this when we lose, when we appreciate, when we learn to love ourselves and love.
Self-love is the path to free love, without ties, without demands. When we love ourselves, we don't demand from the other, we share love and walk alongside them, but we don't need it because it is already within us. The source of love is within oneself and it is the first step to heal any relationship and breakup.
What is the role of Siu and flower essences in heartbreak?
The flower essences help us connect with our emotions and sensations to balance and positively enhance those experiences that stimulate us to live differently. The first step to heal any broken heart is self-love. The Mimosa flower essence, Mimosa, works on self-love, teaching us to love ourselves and experience love. This flower helps us detach the source of love from the other and stop blaming, as love and the stimuli of happiness are within us.
Another essence that helps us heal the pain caused by a breakup is Heartsease, a very beautiful flower shaped like a broken heart. This essence helps us love, to enhance the love around us. It is the representation of "when a bone breaks, when it heals, it heals better."
Other Bach flower essences that can help you in this process are Chicory, which helps us eliminate the dependency we feel toward the other. We also have the Walnut flower which helps us strengthen ourselves to break the bond from the beliefs and ideas of the other person that we adopted, and finally White Chestnut, which helps us eliminate repetitive thoughts, like the constant thinking about that person — what are they doing? Why aren't they calling me? etc.
For any breakup, it is key to understand that what we call love is within our interior. It is a feeling that already resides within us. When we fall in love, we give the other person the power to be that provider. In a breakup, the key is to forgive from a place of self-love, without resentment, without hatred. We achieve this by experiencing with authenticity what we feel, finding those stimuli that make us happy without them coming from the other person.
More essences for the broken heart
The Bush essences have different characteristics, as they come from the earth. In these moments of great pain, we also recommend this second group of flower essences such as Fringed Violet, Boronia and Red Suva. These work on the sensation of impact at the beginning of a breakup — that great moment of pain where we cannot bear the moment, where sadness and anger are overwhelming — helping to take away the other's power and recover our self-love.
The orchids also play a very important role in healing and the search for self-love. There is a flower essence called Orchid of Love. This flower helps us enhance our love for life, for the moments, to feel at peace and loving in every instant.
Every grief process goes through different stages, but we reach a point where we must accept what we feel. Understanding that the love we are missing is within us — as we increase our self-love, we end up feeling a different kind of well-being.
True grief arrives when from gratitude we no longer feel needed. Gratitude activates and our emotions experience a transformation that comes from the greatest lesson pain leaves us, which invites us to find unity within ourselves.
